Just take your memories with you when you go

2012-01-18T15:17:00.005+08:00

Its been awhile, I know.

Happiness doesn't last, does it? It is always something temporary, at-the-moment and when the moment is gone, all you can do is just reminisce the good times as if the bad never existed. I've had my happy moments. What I hate most is, changes. Everything changes, eventually. My relationship has been great, but it was greater. I've always liked the moment you have just met someone, when there are still awkward moments, politeness and so on. As time passes, you get closer with that person and things will change because you are used to having that person around. You are so close to that person that you tend to ignore the courtesy that once existed. Sometimes, I just feel like being alone in my room, with the music on. Just me and me alone.

A lover, a leaver, just like hit-and-run.

Love,
JC

2011-11-24T23:28:00.001+08:00

~~alive;~~

I'm only human, I'm not at all perfect and again, I'm only human. I have my own life and I never had the thought of letting anyone cage me and make me do things that I hate. I dont need someone to change me, I enjoy being myself and right now, I feel like someone's chocking me in the throat. All the pressure around me is taking me down. I'm on the verge of giving up because I cannot afford to handle so many changes in a small period of time. I dont want anyone to have the intention of trying to change me.

I only need someone to love me for who I am.

Love,
JC

2011-11-11T18:07:00.001+08:00

friday

its raining right now and I love the weather, so cooling and refreshing. I'm heading back to ipoh in about an hour then I've to rush over to shenmun's place right after I reached because we have to complete our assignment that's due next week. anyways, boyf just left my place and I'm missing him already. he's having his midterm tmrw and no joke, the fella studies like crazy that I feel so intimidated lol. he's intelligent and hardworking and persistent in everything that he does, totally so not me. its a good thing though cuz he can motivate me and make me smarter, i hope haha. i love him, no doubt. he treats me like a baby and he bullies me all the time. he calls me fat, gives me all kinds of nicknames but i dont care, he's so fucken cute to the max and he loves me just the way i am :3 he's trying his best to quit smoking just for me, he hasnt completely quit smoking but he has already cut down alot and I can see his effort. he's really sweet. i know its annoying that I keep talking about me boyf but I just had to :p he's the best.

ily ♥

Love,

2011-11-10T00:08:00.003+08:00

back to black ;

I have been wanting to dye my hair black since months ago but I was too lazy to drag myself all the way to the salon and keep my but glued to the chair for hours but I finally did it. I dyed my hair jet black last weekend and no shit I love my hair nao. Black iz le in thing nao. I look so different with black hair, eventhough my complexion doesnt look as fair already but at least I have one less thing to worry about : newly grown black roots. I always get very frustrated whenever new hair starts to grow leading to two different tone of colours on my hair, it makes me looks so.. yuck. I iz very satisfied with me new hair nao :3

from brown

to jet black

Which do you like better?

Love,

2011-11-07T23:56:00.003+08:00

Ok so I've been going out every single weekend whenever I'm back from kampar. I'm fucking broke like nobody's business. I spend too much on clothes and body art, no joke. I need to start saving from now on, to buy more clothes. Ironic, I know. I have been very depressed about being broke and fat. I'm fat and I'm broke what the fuck. Seriously, SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO BE FUCKIN SKINNY. I know I'm not like overweight or something but I'm bulgy and I hate it. Oh and thats not the worst yet, the worst is that I'm surrounded by skinny people. All my friends are like stick-thin, the figure that I've always longed for. People always tell me 'You look fine!' 'You're not fat dont be silly!' but no, seriously, I need to lose le fats. Okay imma stop ranting about my weight. I shall go starve myself naoz kthxbye.

I care too much about how I look its driving me crazy.

I need to stop.

Love,

2011-10-25T19:54:00.000+08:00

blood monkey;

I've gotten myself inked last weekend, with ze best friend and Shumz. We've always said we're gonna get a diamond tattoo together even since highschool and we finally checked that promise last sunday. Went to our usual body art place and tattoo artist, Tiff, and as usual she did a great job. It hurt a little more than my first tattoo but the pain was tolerable. It took Tiff about 3 hours to complete both of our tattoos. We both loved our new diamonds very much, no doubt :]

We love you, Tiff!

Almost done.

♥

Love,

2011-10-21T23:11:00.002+08:00

; crazy little thing called love

iloveyoukthxbai.

Love,

2011-09-07T04:11:00.000+08:00

Its 4am right now and i just finished doing my math revision. I started at 8 and just imagine how many hours I've spent on this stupid subject. My paper is in approximately 5 hours and I have to wake up at 7ish. I'm only left with like, 3 hours to sleep. I'm giving up on this damn subject man, I'm never good with numbers. By the way, I've been eating instant noodles as my dinner for 3 consecutive days and staying up till dawn almost everyday. Yeah, thats how depressing my life is right now. Just 2 more days and 2 more papers. I'll try my best to stay alive.

Finally heading to bed now, wish me luck.

And before I do, here's another picture of me with braces. Just cant get enough of it :p

Goodnight!

Love,

2011-09-05T20:43:00.003+08:00

96 hours

My first and second paper started today. Both papers were okay, not too easy and not too tough. Fair enough. 3 more days/papers to go. I really really cant wait to go home, I miss home so much and I'm actually counting down to Thursday. Cant wait to see my mum, my cat, my room and Ipoh! I just have to survive these 3 long days of pure agony, ugh. Anyways, my mood has been better but I think I'm having a bad luck or something, sort of? & this is because of two incidents. First, I was starving last night, as usual, couldnt resist myself from eating so I decided to grap cup noodles. I took one, opened it and there was one packet of seasoning, thats what I thought. After waiting for it to cook, I took my first bite and crap, it was tasteless! Then I realised, there were supposed to be TWO packets of seasoning. I finished it anyway pfftt. The second one happened just about 2 hours ago. I grabbed a cup of yogurt from the fridge and when I opened it, it looked more watery than usual but it didnt taste bad at all. And when I was eating it, I realised there were no fruits inside. WHY ARE ALL THE FOOD DOING THIS TO ME, seriously. And again, I finished it as well. I am gonna feast myself out when my exam's done. I am going to budge in my couch, watch back-to-back season of HIMYM and eat all the food that I can find at home. Hehe.

Found an application on installous and downloaded it right away. Its quite fun to play with haha.

TADAAAA, BRACEFACE!

I personally think I look pretty cute with braces :p

Love,
J

2011-09-04T13:48:00.002+08:00

; done

The past whole week has been really rough for me. I quarantined myself at home to do my revision for my final examination that will be starting from tomorrow onwards. I've been staying up till dawn, everyday. Did alot of unecessary thinking and crying. I'm starting to think that maybe I really do have a problem. Maybe I havent done enough, maybe I'm just not likeable, maybe I'm not a people person, hence, everyone's leaving me one by one. I dont know what friends are for anymore. As much as it hurts, I still have to go on with my life. I cared too much. I should probably just stop caring and try to be okay with everything that's going on around me. This feeling sucks, really. I want to stop feeling like that. I want to stop feeling.

2011-08-26T16:39:00.004+08:00

; mess

Going back to Ipoh tonight and I have a movie to catch tomorrow. After tomorrow, its gonna be war time for me. I'm going to have to study till my ass falls off for my final examination that's gonna happen one week from now. With the time I've left, I'm not going to procrastinate anymore. I hate the fact that I'm always procrastinating that leads to things not getting done in time and shiz, ugh. This time, I have to stop and starting making a move. Yes I will.

HELLO, PLEASE MAKE ME HAPPY, ANYONE.

Love,
Jojo

2011-08-25T04:54:00.008+08:00

Unchanged

So all that you have on your mind is 'Why am I still single?', 'Does anyone wanna date me?', 'I'll date anyone that does so and so' and etc. Do you not ever get bored of yourself, even? Or are you that desperate? Its always all these questions. Not forgetting, on the other hand you're always trying so hard to prove that you are still hanging on in the pass, that you are in such pain because you still have feelings for whoever. Contradictory much? You are making yourself a joke to me, literally. I'm so sad, that you've become so shallow. Or maybe you have always been? You disgust me, really.

Love,
Jojo

2011-08-23T03:23:00.003+08:00

Question marks.

Sometimes, life has let me down in such bad ways that I think I dont need anyone around me because people come and go, and most of them leave scars before they go. Its 3.20am right now and I'm not asleep yet. I've so much on my mind that I dont even know which thought comes first because my head's in a mess. I dont think anyone could ever understand how I feel because everyone's too busy caring about themselves or maybe I'm just that worthless. I've always wondered why do people do all these shit to me, have I not been nice enough? Or have I not given enough? Because after 18 years of living, I'm definitely sure that I've been a good friend, not perfect, but just enough to make things right. But shit still happens. I've been through numerous dramas and fights and dissappointments and letdowns even till right now, I think I've come to a certain point where I can't stand it anymore.

I think I just wanna stop caring and be alone. I'm so tired of all these that I'd rather take all the blames and insinuations just so I can shut everyone up and leave me and my life alone.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way, literally. Eventhough it kills me inside to look at the people I love to be treating me like nothing, I'll just let it go. I dont think I wanna hold on to anything anymore.

Love,

Jojo

2011-08-18T15:28:00.003+08:00

Despite the constant smiling face, I'm tremendously vulnerable and small inside.

Enough said.

2011-08-14T23:30:00.001+08:00

OK FUCK, NOW I DO REGRET OUR RELATIONSHIP.

WHY DID I FUCKING GET THAT TATTOO GODDAMNIT.

2011-08-05T13:58:00.013+08:00

Little getaway

Its been awhile since I updated my blog. Fingers got a little lazy heheh. Alot has happened and Im too lazy to spill everything out in details.

So, I went on a day trip to KL with my uni mates and it was superfine. Shopped till we dropped and right now, I only have two bucks left in my purse. Like seriously, no joke. Thats how extreme we can get when it comes to shopping. Joeger drove us to KL like a pro, no doubt. He'svery familiar with all the roads eventho he's an Ipoh person, no idea why. We started our journey at 9 and touched down at around 10.30. And everyone dozzed off in the car like nobody's business. As soon as we reached, we went to Sg Wang and of course, us girls were very excited, walked into the mall and started scanning through all the boutiques hahaha.

Early in the morning :)

Other than that, I met up with Mr. Marc. He showed up looking like some security guard

but he looked pretty cute. He claimed that he looks more like a high class waiter, tskkk. But what happened was, I was browsing through the clothes in Topshop with him following behind me and this foreign lady came up to him and said, 'Can I try this?' I just burst out laughing at him lol.

MarcCohenHam

After we're done with our shopping spree, we had dinner and took off. We were so tired that we fell asleep not long after we got into the car. Eventhough its just a day trip but we really did enjoy it. Cant wait for out next trip, maybe somewhere else ;)

Weekend was superb with my lovelies. Xx

Love,

2011-07-27T04:21:00.001+08:00

I dont wanna be that girl at 4 o'clock in the morning.

2011-07-12T22:56:00.006+08:00

little joy, little light

I've finally gotten a haircut after so many months! Sadly, I have to trim about one and a half inch of my hair away because of the dry split ends. My hairdresser told me that my hair's about 70cm long. I was so surprised! My hair is alot shorter than before now but I'm happy I got it chopped off cause I think I look better with shorter hair :]

Elaine Tan : Apparel. Minimalist in the making?

Jojo Chan : I was told that I dress like I'm going to some fashion show.

Seriously, I've been getting alot of that and I have to admit, its true haha. My coursemates always tell me that I dress like some student from KL when we're only studying in kampar, hence, I changed my wardrobe and toned down to simpler outfits. &honestly, I feel better about myself now. I feel more normal, at least.

Tadaaaa, less hassle choosing clothes :D

Besides all that, I really enjoy my uni life. I got to know alot of new friends and got closer to a couple of them. I see alot of familiar faces from ipoh here. One thing is, I never thought that I'll be friends with those familiar faces that I see around in Ipoh until I got here. Its a small world eh? I am one lucky girl that I got such good friends to hangout with in uni.

Here are some pictures of my lovelies, I love them to the core!

Love,

2011-07-11T13:58:00.002+08:00

I try to be a good person but bad stuff happens anyway.

2011-07-10T23:32:00.007+08:00

Day out with MonsieurMarc.

So today, I accompanied Marc to get his snakebites! Met him up in parade and went to Tiff's place for his piercing. He was.. pretty nervous before he got his lips pierced. I was beside him while the whole process was going on and I hope I made you feel less nervous :)

Eyewitness!

Mr. Snakebites

favourite pictureeee

After he got his piercings, he was really happy about it and somehow we both couldnt stop smiling, right, Marc? Haha. We headed off to jj to chill for abit and we just talked, nonstop. It was a great day, ay? I'll be getting my Monroe soon and he's gonna be next to me this time! Chaoz :]

Love,

2011-07-08T16:26:00.005+08:00

Friday

And so, I got myself a new camera. Got it at a really good deal in uni during this pc carnival that was held this week. Girls have this typical tendency of camwhoring when they have a camera in hand. If you're a girl, you should know. I'm not excluded as well. Here are some of my self loving pictures, pardon me! ;)

I'm currently still sitting in my hostel room, waiting for my mum to come pick me up. Next week and the week after next are gonna be hectic. I'll be sitting for my midterm exam and my assignments are all due next week. My schedule's gonna be really tight and I've got tons of revision to do. So far, I've completed my assignments. All thats left to do now is to study for 5 subjects and I'm actually really worried that I cant cope with it. I'll try my best to digest 5 chapters of all subjects within 2 weeks tho. Wish me luck!

Love,

Jojo

2011-07-07T12:13:00.001+08:00

I AM SO FUCKING SICK OF EVERYONE I JUST WANNA DELETE EVERYONE FROM MY LIFE.

2011-07-06T02:31:00.003+08:00

Turn around, look.

Truth to be told, I miss you. I just want to forget all the ugly parts. All we need is forgiveness but i dont think thats very much posibble, no?

& I always wonder, what would happen if everything started all over again?

Love,
J

2011-07-04T13:56:00.003+08:00

Song playing : Jay Chou - 說了再見
Current mood : Glum

There is something that I'm missing, something that's causing this moodiness but I just dont know what it is.

Love,
J

2011-06-30T01:57:00.012+08:00

Going good, going great

Life has been treating me well so far. Weekends in ipoh were superfine. Had heck alot fun with my lovelies in Ipoh despite having assignments pilling up here in Kampar. Nothing is better than coming back to hometown. Family and friends are the top priorities needed to keep my mind away from all the stress and frustrations I got from all the projects and due dates and such. Apart from all the rants, uni life isnt that bad afterall. Met alot of new people, made good friends with some and gained weight. I've been going out almost every night, there are so many good food here you wont believe it. Mamak food & loklok are the best. So yeah, life's here not that bad afterall. Here are some pictures to summarise the rest, the pictures will do the talkin' ;)

Neenee :)

Kenji&Jo @crazymoments

Princess

Club cant handle us

Oh btw I sat for my math test today and I think I totally pawned it. Fuck yeah.

With love,

2011-06-21T14:56:00.002+08:00

Tragic

How can things get this ugly? I really don't understand. Somehow, its pretty saddening. From time to time, I would reminisce about the past and smile.

Sometimes, maybe, I wish I could turn back time hoping that none of the mistakes were ever made.

Love,
J

2011-06-20T13:24:00.004+08:00

One drunken night. One hotel room. Unlimited flow of alcohol.

&happiness.

Love,

2011-06-13T17:32:00.002+08:00

Classy

Am so fucking sad that no words can describe

please tell me why.

2011-06-07T01:58:00.001+08:00

I hate this sign ----------> ._.

I think its utterly annoying. Just sayin' :)

Love,

2011-06-05T01:37:00.003+08:00

'YOU'RE A MISTAKE.'

:)

Love,
J

2011-05-31T00:14:00.005+08:00

ok so right now I'm sitting here in my room alone, sulking and thinking about all the shitty things in my life. i'm always depressed, always moody, always feeling dejected and such. what the fuck is wrong with me seriously? its always about relationships, fuck. my life is not all about relationships but when am i gonna get that shit outta my head? all these things just come to me automatically. i'm a person too affectionate but not committed enough in a relationship. what do i really want? i need to stop falling for all the wrong people, people who i barely even know. i'm a sucker for heart messers. i never failed to get myself in deep shit and frustration and embarrassment. right now, i'm just going towards the wrong direction, wrong person. someone who doesnt even give a damn, someone who just talks to me when he's bored, no wait. everyone talks to me only when they're bored. yeah its pretty sucky. i'm not gonna let my life go on like this anymore. i'm gonna set my priorities straight at this very moment and forget about all those minor shiz. i'm gonna stop thinking about you or anyone at all. lets just keep a distance between us, just so i can stop having crazy thoughts about you when nothing has ever even happened between us. second day of college tomorrow, time to get my head in the game and concentrate.

'if you dont daydream, you wont go bonkers.'

Love,

2011-05-29T21:57:00.004+08:00

Last night

Stop mindfucking me.

Love,
J

2011-05-29T01:26:00.001+08:00

just got back from the club
fuck tonight, srsly, fuck tonight
fuck myself for thinking so much motherfuck

bye

2011-05-26T17:03:00.002+08:00

Can I dream a little dream about you?

No expectations, no hopes, no nothing. I know where I stand.

I'm having my moodswing now. Period.

kthxbye

2011-05-26T15:31:00.017+08:00

Heat

Its so super hot here in kampar its crazy. Went to college today to get my timetable and to check out where the classes are. There are 11 blocks and thank god each block is just withing walking distance to another. There are printings on the notice board and something caught my eye.

Rules and regulations : No tongue studs or tattooes are allowed

Fuck I'm doomed hahaha. Its not like I give two damns about it though. This reminds me of those days during my highschool years. I never really cared even if I get caught breaking rules. That doesnt mean I'm not a good student, right?

THERE ARE NO HOT GUYS/GIRLS IN COLLEGE. NIL. NONE.

That explains it all, other than attending boring lecture classes and having boring food in the canteen, there wont be anything interesting to be explored in college. I'm probably the next most-interesting-thang next-most-interesting-thangnin my batch hahahah. Jokes!

Anyways, here are some old photos that I found, good memories. Enjoy!

Suiee (:

Drunktard

Anniebooooo

I think I look pretty cute here ;]

Love,

Lovel

2011-05-24T22:36:00.006+08:00

Orientation

Dragged myself out of bed at 6 this morning, took a shower, dressed up and walked to the bus stop with ma roommies this morning. It was dreadful to wake up at 6 because I slept at 4am so practically I only slept for two hours. We reached college at 8 and there was already a small crowd scattered everywhere outside the heritage hall. We got ourselves registered and damn the queue was so long I wanted to runaway. We were taken on a tour around college after that and we had to WALK under the scorching sun, daymn. It was tolerable though. It was an exhausting day and I swear I got darker.

In the bus :)

:)/:D/:O

Love,

2011-05-23T20:46:00.007+08:00

Dot

I am a very emotional person on the inside but on every other day, I put a smile on my face. Sometimes I think its better to enjoy the little joy of life than to sulk and rant endlessly everyday, no?

Anyways, I finally moved into my hostel in Kampar. The weather here is scorching hot and I'm practically covered in sweat no matter how many times I shower. Its.. pretty sad. Oh well, the bright side of it is that I finally get to have my own space and freedom. Two things that I've always been asking for. I need to be alone, to think about alot of things. How to deal with this and that, yada yada.. Orientation starts tmrw, at 8 in the morning and I have to catch the bus at 7.20. I pray pray pray that I'll be able to wake up in time to make it. If anyone's nice enough to wake me up tmrw morning, give me a morning call at 6a.m. thank you :) I hope everything goes fine tmrw and right now I'm still thinking of what to wear! Hahaha vain as always, I know.

Now, I'm staying in a twin sharing room all by myself because my roomie found a better place to stay. Its pretty cool though because I get double the space, double of everything by paying for the price of one. I hope this continues for long and no one moves in. I enjoy being all by myself in my cozy little room. Besides, I have two friends staying in the room next to mine and its fun having them around. They come to my room and mess around so I'm not that lonely after all :)

I have a current obsession lately and I cant get my mind off it.

Its pretty, isnt it?

Love,

2011-05-22T22:59:00.003+08:00

The end of it

You never failed to hurt me with your words, in or out of the relationship. I'm just so exhausted, with this whole thing. I can't wait to leave this place, this shithole and start off fresh. I just want to leave and never come back. I cant handle any of this anymore. We will probably be locked with conflicts but give me a break, why dont you?

Right now, I just wanna break down and cry and leave.

I will not hate you, insult you, screw you in the face, insinuate you or such, because I know how it feels. I'm tired. This will be the last post about you and I will go be happy, I swear. I never regretted the relationship, never regretted liking you, never regretted knowing you.

From now on, I will strive for my own happiness and leave out all the rest.

Love,
J

2011-05-21T22:13:00.004+08:00

Shit happens again and again. I'm so sick of it seriously and there's nothing that I can/want to say anymore.

Give me a goddamn break, give me my life back.

I want to be on my own now, with nobody else along the goddamn road.

Fuck you, fuck everyone else, fuck the world.

2011-05-20T00:16:00.003+08:00

My life is a joke.

I just wanna cry everyday and drown myself in my pool of tears to death. Now all of you can have a good laugh about me, go on.

There is only one word that can describe what I'm feeling inside right now. Not hate, not anger, not dissatisfaction but - sad. Why, why did things have to turn out this way. I never wanted this day to come. There's not even a point saying all these right now because there's only hatred and anger in you and I do not wish to provoke you anymore. I just want you, YOU, back. As a being, as a someone. Thats all I want to say, hate me all you want.

I'm sorry.

Love,
J

2011-05-19T18:05:00.008+08:00

Who am I kidding, I can never bring myself to hate you.

Love,

2011-05-19T12:24:00.000+08:00

Grow the fuck up.

2011-05-19T00:16:00.001+08:00

The pain is intensifying.

I AM GOING TO FORGET ABOUT YOU, RIGHT NOW, AT THIS VERY MOMENT.

2011-05-19T00:06:00.002+08:00

Unpredictable, the first thought.

What has gotten into your head? What happened to that person that I was head over heels for? The one that I met 9 months ago? Right now, every word that comes out from your mouth petrifies me. Your every word send a chill down my spine. You gave me this new fear, fear of talking to you. You never failed to hurt me with your words, your actions, your everything. Why, why do you have to do this? I gave you chances, again and again but you never appreciated it. All you want is to WIN, to retaliate, to make me feel miserable. Its fine, I'll just let you talk or say whatever you want because talk is cheap. I've tolerated enough. You MADE me shut you off and you have to stay out of my life, for my own protection. I have to set my guards up. I have zero tolerance for you and your shit. You asked for this. I'm done with this shit kthanksbye.

Love,
J

2011-05-18T11:33:00.004+08:00

This is for you

Of those days when I was still yours, you've never really done anything or spoken up for me when I was picked on, by whoever. In other words, you've never done your part in offering your protection. I was just living in denial, ~~telling~~ lying to myself that you did. Winning is what matters the most to you. You never failed to want to win. Even for now. I keep getting the blame as always eventhough I've been keeping quite all along trying to avoid all thsese from happening, I'll just get random attacks from you. What do you want from me..? Its fine if you never intended to side me or back me up but I really hope that you wouldnt be one of them, who will pick on me or dramatize my life. I want to leave a good image, a good impression of you in my head. Thats all I'm asking for so please, stop doing what you've always been doing. I dont want you out of my head. I'm begging you, literally. Give me a buzz, if you ever read this and let me know if you're gonna help me in this. Thank you.

Love,
J

2011-05-09T23:33:00.003+08:00

Close that door, for it wont open for you anymore

I need to stop reminiscing about the past, seriously. My head hurts thinking about things, about how messed up my life is, about how fucked up things are. I really wish I could turn back time, to where I was.. 15. I wish I never met any of you. Then, I wouldnt have hurt any of you like I did. I just wanna live a normal life without any frustrations, I guess everyone else wants that too but its not gonna happen. I'm so sick of.. my life. I think I feel you now. That same agony you were in. I'm the weakling now. This chapter of my life will never end and its always gonna be ugly. I'm sick of the insinuations and accusations. I'm too tired to defend myself, too helpless.

Will you catch me, if I fall? I've fallen so hard on my head and got my knees scratched. I have bruises all over. I need you, to heal the bruises.

Lets just leave the words unspoken . Its probably better that way or perhaps, the business is meant to be left undone.

Love,
J

2011-05-08T00:12:00.002+08:00

7/05/2011

'Don't fucking care about me okay. Just dont talk to me. I dont give a shit about you. Bye.'

You've said it.

I cant bring myself to say those 4 words, if I dont mean it. One day, you'll realise.
And I'm sorry.

Love,
J

2011-05-03T15:46:00.003+08:00

What the hell, am I doing with my life?

I have not, the slightest idea. College's starting in about 2 weeks and I havent even started preparing for it yet. The excitement's suddenly not there anymore, it feels like it doesnt bother me much cause I'm just leaving this shithole, to another shithole place. Great. I feel lifeless to the max right now because I stopped working and all I do is rot at home every single day. Nice, no?

I think about how lifeless I am every single day and I rant about it. Everything's a mess, not exactly everything but yeah. I single-handedly ruined someone else's life and I know I can do nothing to make it up to that person. I never thought that this day would actually come. You and me, gone. Feelings fade, thats all I can say. We're grown ups. We move on, get over it and be friends again. Is it that hard, really? It breaks my heart to see you being like this - depressed, broken and lost. I tried to ignore you and be cold towards you just so you would forget about me but I guess it doesnt work out the way I wanted it to be. I think of us once in awhile, just to feel better about you and I. You always think you're just a choice, a second choice but you're wrong. You're always gonna be on top of my list, whether we'll still be friends or not. I'll still be here, for you. I'm gonna forget about all the things that you and I did, but I'll never forget about us. Its not gonna happen so stop asking me to forget about you. Maybe its better that we stopped talking for now.

I'm sorry for everything and I hope you'll think of me when you read this.

2011-03-31T23:38:00.002+08:00

Sanity

The most destructive unjust deed to one's self revolves around three vices : lying, breaking a promise and betraying a trust.

Repentance is the way to go. The person should be forgiven if his/her sincerity is shown in the apology not forgetting, determination in wanting to get you back. Talking in the sense of a relationship, friendship and so on. Repetition on the other hand means digging your own damn grave. Let me project a situation here for better understanding. Can you imagine the person you love, cheats on you but at the same time tells you how much he/she loves you. In this case, its a she. Imagine the disappointment and betrayal that hits you in the face, its inexplicable. If you love this person so fucking much, would you bear to torment and watch this person hurt to bits and pieces? Its too bad that people who make mistakes, they dont really or should I say, they dont realise their mistakes. They'll put the blame on the others instead. I've been through all these and trust me, I know how it feels. The agony. The feeling of getting betrayed by the person you love the most only sums up to one word : excruciation.

'People change, as much as most of us despise it, people are influenced by others and their surrounding environment. Nobody likes it but its human nature.'

I need my sanity back. I need to learn how to live happily without you. I would not retaliate like how you always do and I will not take revenge on you just to 'get even'. Thats because I know how it feels. You're like a diabolical criminal in relationships. This thing called Love, is something that I will never be able to comprehend. For the time being, I'll wash away the current images of you in making my life a living hell and just remain the great memories that you once gave me, 8 months ago. Reminiscing the good memories once in a bloue moon would be good because hanging onto it solemnly would just be plain unhealthy. I would not say I loved the wrong person but I reckon it might be a mistake, to the both of us. This doesnt mean that I'm regretting it because I did not regret a single minute of the relationship I just hated the latter part of it. There was a possibility to the future that we both saw, but you single-handedly ruined it. Just because I dont tell you that I love you, it doesnt that I stopped loving you. Its because of the insecurities that you give me, the trust that you betrayed, hence, stop assuming. After all these mess that you've made, you cant blame me for loving you less because you vaunted your 'other relationship' in my face. Should I give my full affection to a person who left me, for another person? You toyed with my feelings and I just cant afford to give myself a reason to forgive you anymore because I've given you so many chances that I feel so worthless, so helpless, so.. pathetic. When will you ever start to realise all this? Perhaps, you never will. Right now I'm telling you, you won this relationship. I dont want to fight anymore, I'm moving on.

I did not stop loving you but I think I probably should. You're never gonna be the one that I knew, anymore.

Love,
J

2011-03-29T23:08:00.010+08:00

Tuesday

I am exhausted, with work. & I realised I'm never full, no matter how much I eat which means I'm hungry 24/7. That, is not a good thing. I only consume like one meal a day, a substantial one, not including other junks and titbits. Shiz I ~~have to~~ , must cut down on my diet. For real this time. I've to resist myself from the mouthwatering delicacies. Anyways, other than serving the customers and doing my part of the job, I spend most on my time sitting, daydreaming away and this is where I came to a realisation that; I miss my friends. There have been alot of issues going on before this, complicated much, yes but still, they were part of my life before everyone left to lead their own lives. All of us are scattered around different places now. We had such great memories, such great times together and I will never forget any part of it. The good or the bad. We've been through alot together and no matter what, the memories will not fade away just like that. Some of us might not even be friends right now but I guess time will heal? I hope it will. What happened, happened and nothing can be turned back, nothing can be changed. I'm sorry, for things that I've done wrong, for the words hurtfully spoken and actions that disappointed you guys. I'm truly sorry and thank you for leading me to the right away, all of you. So yeah, I love you guys. To any of you who is reading this, I hope you're coping well with whatever that you're doing and give me a buzz, for updates or so. Its been too long.

With love,

2011-03-28T23:13:00.005+08:00

Monday

Okay so I went to check my college out in kampar today and to my surprise it looks pretty nice. There were numerous cars scattered around/outside/inside the college. Students these days are so lucky to have their own cars. The maintenance and facilities of the college are pretty impressive. The little hostels look sort of cozy and the security is good. I was really reluctant when my mum made me enrol for Utar but I guess its not that bad afterall. Now all I need is a place to stay and roommates that I can get along well with. Looking forward to meeting new friends there.

Life's been hard on me these days. I just wanna start off fresh when I leave for college. Leave all the dramas behind, fall out of love and study hard for my degree. Its quite impossible, I know but ignorance is bliss, no? I've been through hell and I've lost many people around me. Been lied to and cheated on that I've totally lost faith in believing. Trust; a word that I will never digest down my system. It has lost its meaning because people just HAVE to misuse the word. To you, you tried to defy me to not trust you anymore and there you go, you got it. You made my life a living hell, you came back to me and you ruined my life once again and no you want me to trust you? I'm afraid thats not gonna happen. You're contradicting yourself, repeatingly. So what's the point of apologising when you know, deep inside, that you're gonna hurt me again? Words matter alot, so don't tell me that 'I'm just saying it, they're just words.' You dont know how much words can hurt, at times. There was a crack, yes but I tried to mend it and I did. You, on the other hand, tore it apart. You blew your chances. You made me leave.

& I can't believe that after all the lying and cheating, I still tried to give myself excuses to let you in, to forgive you but no, its all etched inside my head, every living evidence that I saw. The pain is so intensifying, its crazy.

Never have I thought this day would come. Right now, I'm only waiting for times to pass because time will heal.

2011-03-11T01:10:00.002+08:00

Karma?

I never believed in karma till now, I HAVE to believe it because its biting me in the ass right now.

I had the happiest moments in my life in about seven months ago, when I met someone. Someone who meant and still means so much to me. You, S. You make me feel that my life doesnt really suck, for once. We've had so may memories, so many songs, so many fights and we shed so many tears, for each other. Everything was so right, you fit me so right. Then, I fucked it. I'm sorry, for giving what we had a crack. Its my fault and I tried so hard to make it up to you. I tried to mend it till its finally over now, its your turn to fuck me over with what you're doing.

You hurt me with your actions and words every single day. You hurt me with your actions, publicly. I tried so hard to stay away. I tried so hard to back off. All I get is sarcasm and I'm always the one to be blamed. I'm not mad, really. I just really hope that you'll realise what you're doing to me because till now, you're still in denial. I really want you back, but not the current you and you know that. You're not the one I met seven months ago anymore. What happened to you? Come back.. I practically begged you, to do what you're supposed to do but you didnt. It was such an easy task and you didnt even wanna do it. You'd rather watch me hurt, in every way. Is it really that hard? I just don't see any effort in you wanting to get me back in your life.

I'm so tired, so worked out that I feel numb. Empty. So full of nothing. I can practically predict what you're gonna say to me because you tell me the same thing every single day. Do you actually know or care how I feel? The lies and betrayal.. I feel lied to and cheated on. All I hope for is you to realise what you're doing to me right now is really taking me to the end.. I just want you to feel for me, for once. I never expected the both of us to end this way. Apart from that, you've always loved me for who I am. You cared for me more than you cared for yourself. You'll never do anything, anything at all if you know it'll hurt me. I was once your priority. But all these only happened seven months ago. You're already gone now..

And baby, she's tearing us apart. Do you not see it yet?

But then again, its just a feeling.

2011-01-16T19:06:00.005+08:00

Just A Feeling

I watched you cry
Bathed in sunlight
By the bathroom door
You said you wished you did not love me anymore

You left your flowers in the backseat of my car
The things we said and did have left permanent scars
Obsessed depressed at the same time
I can't even walk in a straight line
I've been lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries
This is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes
You're not even there
It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

I can't believe that it's over
You've hit your low
You've lost control and you want me back
You may not believe me but I gave you all I have
Oh just confess that you're still mine
I roll around in a bed full of tears
I'm still lying in the dark no sunshine
No sunshine
No sunshine

She cries this is more than goodbye
When I look into your eyes you're not even there

It's just a feeling
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have
Just a feeling
Just a feeling that I have

No I can't believe that it's over now baby
So much to say
It's not the way she does her hair
It's the way she seems to stare right through my eyes
And in my darkest day when she refused to run away
The love she tried so hard to save

We have so many of our songs, so many things that remind us of each other. No one else understands but the both of us, what we've been going through but one thing for sure is that, the affection's still there.

The moment you told me you were falling for me was the moment I ever felt so magical.

2011-01-05T16:44:00.004+08:00

Its never gonna be fair to the both of us

What has this turned into. Who would've thought that things would turn this bad, this ugly. This hurts the both of us, so bad. The pain is excrutiating, no? I doubt there's a solution to it. You should probably just pick one of your many options. I've had enough of this shit, getting mad and vulnerable, feeling insecure every single day without fail. The thought of you being so sociable around them petrfies me. We're both so fragile, so soft and we still keep doing things that hurt us both. Sorry is the only word that is often said and your face is projected in my head every minute od the day.

Maybe, this could be our first mistake.

2010-11-03T17:25:00.004+08:00

Digest this down your system
You are nothing and you are fucked in the head.

I dream a little bit about the chance of seeing you.

''I might not be the best lover, but I'll try to be a good one,'' &so she said.

I have the best girlfriend in the world.

2010-11-02T17:41:00.006+08:00

A rush to the start

Things got way outta hand and it would not have happened if everyone kept their mouths shut. I'm trying really hard stay nice with everyone but there's just this someone who likes to provoke me. I've given her alot of second chances but she never appreciated a single bit of it. Now that she's really picking on my last strand of nerve,I'm not just gonna sit there and keep quiet anymore. I will tell her off, I wouldnt be damned to even give a shit to contemplate on filtering my harsh words. This is just too much, too long have laidd my patience on you. Maybe sometimes, just sometimes, its better now to know anything because the truth is always ugly. There's alot more to life than I thought. When a friend you think you can trust disappoints you in the most unpredictable way, it hits you really hard in the face. Some things are better left unsaid. Ugh, drama overload.

Hello you, never try to fix things which are outta your league because you're just gonna end up making things worse.

To my favourite girl,

I love you because you make me feel like no other.

I'm falling for you all over again, deeper and deeper.

You make my life worth living for, you make me smile aimlessly at all times.

You showed me love.

The way we love can never be wrong. ily♥

2010-11-01T17:54:00.006+08:00

Back on track

I'm back! Its been too long, I know. I've been too lazy to even lay my fingers on my blog. I realised not many people are on blogspot anymore cause almost everyone is on tumblr now. I myself do not own a tumblr account but I shall get one soon.

Why is life full of dramas? Dramas come to me and I hate it. I hardly retaliate because I'm not really that gossipgirl kind of person unless it really gets on my last nerve. I wish I were a guy at times, I'm pretty sure guys dont have issues like this. No hair-pulling, no catfights, no nothing. I'm trying to lay off the dramas.

Anyhooooo, ever heard of a Supernova? Its a rare phenomenon involving the explosion of most of the material in a star. In other words, its a gynormous star you find in the outer space. What's all the more interesting is that, I've my very own humanised supernova. I love it. I know it doesnt really make any sense but only you and I know. Supernova, my love. This is for you.

Waking up to your voice every morning and every night is a bliss.

You make my day everyday with your simple morning texts.

Stop stealing my heart away, love.

2009-12-23T10:42:00.003+08:00

I'm back, HI.

I havent been updating my blog for awhile now. Anyways, I've been pretty busy shopping for christmas because its just 3 days away. I got little gifts for my loves . What do I want for Christmas? Surprisigly, I don' have an answer to that question. I'm probably tired of counting on Santa, knowing that none of my wishes would come true. I still love Chirstmas though. Its the time of the year where friends and family come together, with the presents sitting by the Christmas tree and turkey on the table ready to be served. (:

Mehhh..
I'm having this weird feeling these days.
Acting a little bit too sensitive but its unintentional.
I'm often ostracised, and it'll stay that way.
I've always been trying to be somebody else but its just so stupid and shallow.
But for now, I don't really care anymore.

Its 12 o'clock and I need your attention, its the alcohol that's making my head spin.

Anyways, I've been listening to alot of Michael Buble's songs recently.
His songs are so amazingly beautiful. (:

But what do I do now?
I really don't know.

And GAVINNNN, I'M SORRY I CAN' ATTEND YOU WEDDING GAHHHH! ;(
I wish you and your other half all the best.
:D

''You and me, will always be.. between the lines.''

2009-12-02T11:17:00.004+08:00

I shall say goodbye.

If it was for last time, I'd be laughing my ass off with them people, crapping away for hours without realising the time right now.

Okay, I shall stop reminiscing. I tend to think that things would go back to how it used to be if I gave it some time but I don't look at it in that way anymore because it was just a phrase of life that I had to go through and the phrase would end eventually; it did. I've been trying really hard to improve the ways I handle things to satisfy everyone but it seems that no one would actually stop and take notice. I know I have my flaws, everyone does.

Right now, I really have nowhere to turn to.

I don't even feel resented anymore because I think I've finally achieved the stage where you're at, U-Guan.
I don't care anymore. It actually feels pretty good being alone or perphaps I've already gotten used to it. I don't have care so much about what they do, what they say or why aren't I there and I dont wanna be there because it makes me feel like some trash sitting there waiting for the truck to collect me.

No, I'm not in a state of depression lol. Once again, I'm alone at home doing NOTHING and my phone hasn't been ringing for awhile now. I've never felt so peaceful before. Haha. Btw, I can't get my ears off Michael Buble's Grown Up Christmas List. Its so beautiful. =)

Signing off.

2009-12-01T12:28:00.004+08:00

Updates.

1. I quit my job and I'm still waiting for my flipping paycheck.
2. I got my hair curled and my lashes twirled.
3. I got my nails done for 13bucks. What a deal ehh. ;)

4. I'm not self

concious no more.
5. I think I just lost a couple of good friends.

And baby, we're not meant to be.

Bye.

2009-11-13T09:43:00.003+08:00

I got myself a part time job which eats up almost all my time. Its a good thing because I wont have time to think of my issues. I wont have time for anything anymore. No movies, no shopping, no outtings, no friends. I've been missing out alot of fun. Great. I've been really exhausted too, I dont get to have my beauty sleep anymore. The wage is reasonable thou.

Anyways, I hate you, Jojo Chan. I single handedly ruined this. How could I even put in thoughts like that when I know it might turn out this bad. *slaps my senses in* What in the world was I even thinking. Its all a big mess now. I had the worst day, worst night and the worst nightmare. I'm still upset. I'm sorry.

I'm off to work again. It has been the worst week. Bye.

2009-11-05T09:52:00.004+08:00

Hoorah, hoorah!

I got my phone back. Ohwells, it doesnt make much of a difference tho. Its been away from me for a month and I'm still alive. Mum came to claim my phone yesterday.

Datin Mungit : Make sure she wont bring next time.
Mum : *Signs documents, walks away.*

Haha. Mum's the coolest. I've only been present in school for one day this week. Teachers dont even teach anymore. Nothing's left to do other than sleeping or talking. I'd rather stay at home and budge in my couch. Yes, I fail as a student.

Time to lay claim to the evidence, finger prints sold me out.

We're just six feet under the stars.

You know,

I'm trying, tryinggggg to be a nice person, really

but why are you provoking me?

and I'm trying hard not to sin.

Yes, I wont retaliate. I know it sounds contradictory lol but,

I'd at least give it a try. Things should be said succintly.

''How I wish I was on cloud 9.''

Ocean Wide has been stuck in my head since I dont know when.

Love the tune, love the lyrics and every single bit of it.

Lalalala, I love The Afters (:

Look outside

It's already light and the stars ran away with the night

Things we're said, words that we'll try forget,

it's so hard to admit

I know we've made mistakes

I see through all the tears but that's what got us here

If love is an ocean wide

We'll swim in the tears we cry

They'll see us through to the other side

We're gonna make it

When love is a raging sea

You can hold on to me

We'll find a way tonight

Love is an ocean wide

Friday tommorow,

please rain.

2009-11-03T13:44:00.002+08:00

Flailing, falling, failing.

Its most probably, definitely me.

But I can handle this.

I've been though this.

I'll still treasure you very much as a good friend.

But dont take things too far, okay?

2009-11-02T10:58:00.004+08:00

Halloween and the day after.

Went out with bryan and bumped into Henry and Annieeeee. I have to say, Henry not bad eh hahahaha. Anyways, watched Jennifer's Body with Bryan and the movie sucks balls. No doubt that Megan Fox is freakishly hot. The cinema was uber packed and we had to sit on the FOURTH row which was killing our necks. We hung around after the movie and left for church later in the evening. And I have to admit, my spiritual life is DYINGGGGGGGGG. I spent two hours in church and left. Headed to Bryan's place. Well its halloween so I rushed into some video store and grabbed some dvds. We watched the dvds I bought and LOL they were all terrible. His dvd player sucks nuts so we were basically watching boxes on the screen. Brilliant. So we turned off the tv and talked all night. Halloween wasnt so great after all. I bet you regret missing the party. Haha.

And yesterday, we watched This Is it. It wasnt really as spectacular as expected but I enjoyed it and Bryan FELL ASLEEP. Hahaha. Bryan says that she's not prettier than me. Lol.

Somebody wants to slap me, says her.

You're ugly, says me. =)

2009-10-30T13:33:00.003+08:00

Its.. been awhile.
Have been really busy and exhausted with late nights studying.
Had multiple papers a day and I survived those damned weeks.
Finals are finally over, today but I dont really feel the elation I dont know why. Something's missing.

I sometimes fantasized what might have happened if you hadn't left for the certain period of time, but with reality slapping in my face on a daily basis, I cut the daydream short. I should get over it after all these months. Everyone thought that my indefatigueable manner with you would never die off - well so did I. But I'm really, really tired.

Anyways, Halloween this saturday. Gonna watch tv all night and scream to myself. Never really celebrated Halloween before so I think its gonna be he same for this year. We decided to watch Jennifer's Body tmrw and I read the papers today and it got really bad reviews. Ehh.. we'll still be watching it, megan's foz body is already worth watching. Haha. Btw, I need a good siesta tonight. Will be hitting the sacks early. Good day tmrw. =)

~~Somewhere only we know.~~

Why cant there be downright pure love?

2009-10-08T22:45:00.005+08:00

Happy Sweet SIXTEENTH, Sploongebob! :D

So everything went well as planned. Good job everybodehhh! =)

All of us sneaked into Loong's house thanks to BryanL for distracting him and opening the gate for us. We brought in ourselves and ze food and hid in lumshung's play room. His reaction was priceless when he saw us. Haha. So we brought the cake that I baked and of course they never once fail to insult and criticize and gave my cake names. =( Pork cake blehhh. Lol. It was a white chocolate mud cake. It was a tad tad burnt and slightly hard. Eeek. Sorry for the cake, ppl. Anyways, enjoy ze pictures! :)

Awwwwww (:

Proves that everyone enjoyed the cake. Especially U-GUAN.

Its.. not that bad. Really.

And again, thats what friends are for. =)

2009-10-05T15:11:00.001+08:00

My Facebook has been VIOLATED and is now DISABLED.
What a great week I'm having.

2009-09-26T11:29:00.006+08:00

I'm back. Decided to update my blog again since everyone's asking me to do it. Its not gonna be as interesting as it was tho, I'm not so enthu about blogging anymore since I stopped for awhile.
Anyways, we gave BryanL a surprise birthday party two days ago.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRYAN! =)

And fyi, I skipped my tuition for this. Went to Jusco with Loong, Ug, Mel and BryanC get all the stuff we needed for the party. We watched Where Got Ghost as well and Bryan was screaming all the way. Lol. Went to get bryan's present. A nike bag and out of nowhere I deceided to get him boxers. Leopard printed, can you imagine the sexiness of it yet? (: We went back and started blowing balloons. Bad quality balloons which pop by themselves. Then, we chilled by the pond while waiting for the rest to arrive. Bla bla bla and I'll let the pictures do the talking.

My favourite boy of the day.

I hope you like what we did for you. =)

This is what friends are for.

2009-09-13T00:58:00.001+08:00

U-Guan. says:
*im feeling horny in my dreams yeah i wanna get laid, i want a girl to make me cum, not to be hand-made.

Hahahahahahahaahahahaha. Ug's not such a good boy afterall. Enjoy, ug! ;D

2009-09-12T02:20:00.004+08:00

I thought I found you and I was certain.

..I was wrong.

It was so crowded, the entire place was overloaded with people. Evryone was chattering away. The noise was simply too nerve wrecking. There I was, standing all alone in the middle of nowhere. I felt lost and had no sense of direction. Then there you were, on the end of the line, directing me where to go. I ran and ran. Until when I thought that I was at the right place, I still couldn't see you. You didn't give up at all eventhough I almost did. You kept my spirit up. I continued running breathlessly despite other people starring and scrutinizing my every move. I coudln't do anything but to keep searching. And then I heard you,'' I can see you.''
I turned around and I found you. I was so relieved and ran straight towards you.
You calmed me down with your braceful smile.

Call me crazy I don't care.
It doesn't really matter to you, does it?
I think I really AM crazy.

I'm off to bed.

2009-09-08T21:54:00.002+08:00

Uguan, Loong and I had a very very interesting MSN session just now. Started pranking random people with nonsense that we made up. I can't believe such stoopid ppl actually exist. I almost couldn't belive my eyes.

HAHAHAHAHAHAH.
Ug and Loong, we didn't entirely fail.

=D

2009-09-07T01:20:00.002+08:00

Light up light up,
As if you have a choice,
Even if you cannot hear my voice,
I'll be right beside you, dear.

=)

2009-09-05T01:40:00.003+08:00

Its suddenly so clear, I shan't be afraid anymore.

I'm still hesitating, I know I'm going to regret it. Ahh.. fine. I won't do it since everyone disagrees. Its 1.42a.m. now and I still can't sleep. You shouldnt've hung up so early. I waited for the second call but it did not happen, you pig.

I have been swearing alot lately and I think its time to stop. I don't know how I got used to this habit or who influenced me but it gives satisfaction. Do you really have to ask? I don't think it matters even if I gave an answer because you'd still assume that its a yes. Maybe it'll make you feel good but have you ever thought for me, at all, all this while? I wouldn't blame you if you haven't. Perhaps you've been blinded by your new distraction. I made a deal with a friend. He's supposed to stop me from thinking about you. I thought I stood strong with my decision until earlier, I changed my mind. No, I dont want to stop thinking about you. There's no need of that if I don't feel comfortable with it. Saidanddone. Phewww.

I wished that there'd be a turn around in things. I wished that things would stay the same. I wished that I could freeze the moment.
Then, I came to a realisation that what happened, happened.
Things should remain the same for now, at least we have a connection.

I'm anxious, restless and tired. Every single second of the day.
Other that the above, its all good.

I'm so relieved. Never thought that I'd have the guts to do this. Aren't you proud of me? =)
And I think I sound like I'm in a state of depression or something. Oh right, I should be sleeping at this time.

Goodnight, world and you.

2009-08-31T02:13:00.012+08:00

Paintball

Went for paintball with them ppl today. Kher Shin, Mel and I were the only girls and the other 7 guys. We were told to reach at 1.30 but we ended up waiting for like an hour for our turn. BryanC reached the latest and his his parents didnt allow him to play cuz he's sick.He didnt seem like he was and he joined in for one of the matches. :) Mel was so nervous she said she wanted to back out for a trilion times but of course we didnt let that happen. Haha. We got our protectors, loaded our markers and started the game. It was awsome but exhausting. Mel and I could hardly breathe after all the running and its quite suffocating to breathe underneath the stinky face protector. And out of nowhere someone suggested to have a match against the other team, 10 on 10. I didnt really know where to run or who to shoot and stuff I just followed Loong until I could finally manage myself. Mel was runningandscreaming the entire time, and she shot Di. *applause*

Rookie mafias.

Di was in his own Rambo VI world.

We finished the game within 2 hours. All of us went back to Loong's house to clean ourselves up. Us girls took our own sweet time where the guys went straight to the play room and started playing ps2, all sweaty, dirty and stinky. Typical. Haha. Had a short piano jamming session while we waited for them to decide where to go for dinner. We finally decided and headed to the new Kopitiam. First round there and second round of dessert at Mcd. Hahaha.

KimBum ~~wannabe~~ look alike. =)

He was high on sugar.Very, very amazed with Kher Shin's hi-tech phone.

I got hit twice at the same spot by HONG NIAN. It was a good experience tho. And all of us had fun ayyy? ;D And thank you U-Guan for planning, arranging and calling everyone.

Session II for them guys.

Loong taught me dota in 10 minutes and I suck big time. I swear I didnt pretend that I understood everything he said.

Cheerio!

2009-08-29T01:46:00.015+08:00

Late night

With Mich, Mun, Sim and JayMee. We walked to InnCafe at first. Had some snacks and bullshitted much. We ordered fancy drinks and had raw octopus. We decided to walk to kopitiam again because them girls were not satisfied. Bumped into Tekyi. Out of nowhere, Ug called to discuss over his issues, you-know-what. HAHA. I made him come and he agreed after minutes of hesitations. So we sat, we talked and we talked and he got a few of my infamous slaps for crapping so much. ;p We talked about our paintball match and he didnt give it a good impression. I can't believe that I signed for getting hit with balls and the possibility of getting scarred. For life.

Goodnight, world.

2009-08-27T09:41:00.008+08:00

Two in a row

Went out with them people yesterday. Crawled out of bed at 9. Went for brekkie and came back. Took a show and called Mel. Fyi, I was still dripping wet and wrapped in a towel when Ug called and siad he's gonna reach in like 10 minutes. *brawls and screams* Hung up on Mel and went up get ready. First time going out without spending an hour in the room. New record. Haha. Got up Ug's car, went to pick up Loong and Bryan. Reached and met up with everyone. Mel was hiding in a corner when she reached. HAHAHA. We watched G. I. Joe and I Love You Beth Cooper. G. I. Joe was awesome. The other was.. ridiculous and hilarious. Lol. We had lunch in between the movies at Canyon. Ug had some money issues.

Then we headed for snooker. BryanC thought me. I came to a realisation that I suck balls at snooker. Haha! Its not as easy as it looks. You get numb fingers and tired arms after that. But Bryan was really good and I finally got 4 balls in and he owes me 4 Sundae icecreams. ;D

I know, I'm such a good photog.

My nails match his braces.

We've more than 3 pictures like this lah.

And Loong, Mel's gonna kill us.

Cheerio!

♥

2009-08-25T12:32:00.006+08:00

''My left brow is growing faster than my right one.

What would cause that?''

''Maybe its fighting for dominance. It probably wants to be the alpha brow.''

Boredom kills.

Somebody shoot me.

Tralalalalala.

I shall upload some random pictures that I found.

Enjoy!

♥

2009-08-23T21:26:00.002+08:00

THIS IS FOR MELANIE. HAHAHAHAH.

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
Back !!!

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
F I N A L L Y
Woi, get you webbie fixed la diu.

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
whos gonna fix la diu

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
ask your mum to get the computer man la diu.

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
who?????? diu

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
COMPUTER MAN LA DIU

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
HAHAHA I KNOWWWW LA DIUUUU

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
lol so whatchu waiting for la diu!

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
hahaah now mehh diu

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
lol, if you called yesterday, i might get to see you today already right. diu nyamaaaa

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
AHAHAHHHAHAHAHh u think my mother will call anot diu nia seng

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
lol tell her you freaking wanna see your girlfriend la diu nyahma 67

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
SWTTTTTT NO MERCY WEI SHE DIU 7 LEI

Jojo l Your fingertips across my skin. says:
HAHAHAHAH DIU 9 CHAT HER LAAA

[c=#CC99A6]Mel ; KEEP THE FAITH[/c] says:
YERRRR LEI JOU MAT 7 WOR TODAY

2009-08-23T18:37:00.004+08:00

I miraculously found a 6 pack Kitkat in my fridge.
Have been sitting in front of the computer for the entire day.

Lifeless, I know.

Chewing on one bar of kitkat now.

And Ug, ARgggGGGHHhhhHH.

Cheerio!

2009-08-22T14:13:00.002+08:00

Let's light up the town, scream out loud!

I'm still worried. Are you really okay?
I really really want to come take a look at you
but you know no one's allowed to. :(

I'll keep praying. And you'll live.
Or I'll die with you.
Dear K, you know we're all here for you. (:

Ily and Imy. ♥

2009-08-21T21:54:00.004+08:00

Was webbing with WanBang last night.
He's wearing is pasar malam RM10 Adidas headband.
Hahahahaha.

WB : Go drink your lotion la.

J : We're supposed to put it on not drink la.

WB : Its the same!

J : NO. There's a difference between putting and drinking.
*shows him the dictionary*

Hahahahahaha.

And you owe me a DIY HELLO KITTY MASK.

2009-08-21T20:48:00.001+08:00

Webbie

HAHAHAHAHAHHA.

He's my door opener.

Sexy, no?

2009-08-21T10:39:00.005+08:00

I'm weeping warm honey and milk, that you stay surrounding me.

Last night hadn't been a great night. Grandma's hospitalised for a heart attack. Visited her yesterday and it hurts to see a little woman with a fragile frame lying helplessly on the bed breathing with an oxygen mask. She's not in a critical stage anymore. Thank God. Everyone from everywhere else is flying down just to see her. She's really happy about it. On the other hand, K was admitted last night for swine. The news was shocking and I was tremendously worried. Gave her a call right away to make sure things are fine. She sounded alright but we're all still praying for her.

You know you'll be okay. We're not leaving anywhere.

♥

2009-08-20T18:59:00.007+08:00

Don't explain

I suppose I have to put an end to it.

If I hadn't made the wrong decision,

things would prolly stay the same like nothing

ever happened.

But what happened, happened.
We all tend to contradict ourselves.

But then again, we'll end up laughing so hard at ourselves

for being so naive.

But for now,

I'm not flailing anymore.

Goodbye, my almost lover
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let me be?
You should really be proud of me.

2009-08-15T12:41:00.002+08:00

HeeHooHah
Its too hot here.

Have been watching Friends the whole morning to spice things up a little. There's school today but of course, I didnt attend. Am going fishing at Shaun's fish farm later. Someboday's getting tanned.

Ugghhhh didn't get any good sleep last night. Body's aching all over and I could barely read with my problematic eyes. I think I'm going blind. I curled myself in my bed and realised I was still wide awake. I was waiting for something. Which never came. So I decided to force myself to sleep. Mehh. And I'm reeking of pot right now. Psh.

Ahhh life. Seems to be so transient.
Are you happy now?

''Let's runaway to Paris.''
''Take my hand.''

2009-08-14T10:59:00.003+08:00

Warm Whispers

I just realised that there's nothing much that I can do at home other than eating, sleeping, onlining, texting, lazing around and watching telly. When boredom strikes. The thought of going for tuition later is MOODKILLING. Dont even have the intention to absorb any sorts of chemistry information today. Body's already aching like shit because I've been hitting the gym continuously for like 3 days. Not forgetting that I stayed up till 2 this morning. My pleasant sleep was awaken by some loser's call who insisted to talk for 2 hours. Ahh.. I'm being to nice to even have the patience to listen to him blabber about his wealth and intelligence. Torturing and hell annoying. Anyways, enough about him.

Suddenly, I feel like I'm not a part of anything. Nothing seems to go right and I'm on the verge of losing it. Something's drifting apart, I know.
I got over it already.

''Honey, don't throw yourself at something that you know wouldn't last.''
Mmhmm. Okay, so we had a 15minutes conversation and that's all that I heard coming out form her mouth.
I shall be ateraxic alright now? :)

The truth is :
I dont like being sober, I dont want to know the truth.
Let's all get drunk woohoo!

The clock's ticking. Tick tock.
Giving it time.

♥

2009-08-14T10:29:00.002+08:00

Loser's calling me right now.

2009-08-13T12:30:00.006+08:00

Dear YOU,

I FINISHED ALL THE CAKES BY MYSELF.

On a random note, presenting :

Sploongebob.

2009-08-13T12:19:00.005+08:00

Its better to give up the feeling rather than to know that you're the only one fighting.

Trust me, I'm gullible enough to believe anything I want to believe. So, lie to me.

♥

2009-08-13T12:10:00.004+08:00

Ashes and Wine

Don't know what to do anymore

I've lost the only love worth fighting for

I'll drown in my tear storming sea

That would show you

That would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games

It's such a shame

To let you walk away

Is there a chance

A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel

A reason to fight

Is there a chance you may change your mind

Or are we ashes and wine?

♥

2009-08-13T11:47:00.003+08:00

The rewind button, could be very useful sometimes.

Let's go back to the positions we used to stand, no?

Because suddenly touch and go doesnt seem

to be as bad as it sounds afterall.

What comes around, goes around.

Do you believe in karma?

2009-08-13T11:26:00.002+08:00

I skipped school today. Got an eye infection. Went to the doctor this morning. Infected with mild conjunctivities. Pfffft. My right eye is swelling up already and I look like some retard. The good thing is, the doctor gave me a 2 day leave. Lol. But I still gotta go for tuition tomorrow. Alone. Because SOMEBODY ain't going. Rawr. My eye's hurting and my body's aching. What a day. Its gonna be a long a painful weekend. Mehh. Anyways. Exams are finally over. But I've still got my piano exam. I'm not even enthutiasted about it. Mehh.

2009-08-10T17:10:00.002+08:00

100809

On going exams.
Couldn't be bothered.

Practical exam.
Couldn't be bothered.

Complicated like wtfshit dance for IU day.
Couldn't be bothered.

BOYS LIKE GIRLS IS IN KL AND I'M LIKE IN IPOH.

Rawrrrrrrrrrrr!

2009-08-10T15:05:00.004+08:00

''Boys are stupid. Throw rocks at them.''

Mmhmmmmm. One thing about men, they move on and never look back. As simple and as irresponsible as it sounds, its the fact. Whereas for girls, the first emotion is disbelief.They get wounded but still linger on, thinking if there's gonna be a second chance in the relationship. Pathetically. Well that's just stupid. Yeah you heard me, STUPID. We should turn it the other way round, since men don't seem to appreciate us as much as we care about them. Thinking of breaking up withouht hurting anyone's feeling? Total bullshit.

Maybe goodbye is a second chance.

Its just temporary, it'll go away. So never fall too deep.

♥

2009-08-10T14:38:00.005+08:00

You

are

not

alone

here

with

for

you

you're

though

faraway

I'm

here

stay.

Liar.

2009-08-07T17:51:00.003+08:00

Mission l

Target : Big, fat, round and. Sweaty.

His big figure blocked our view for the whole session. So we planned to skin him alive. Starting with his, dick. I suggested pulling it off but he said no, we should peel the first layer of skin off slowly. And then I suggested somerhing else which's rather.. EXCRUCIATING.

That was my chemisstry tuition. Hahahahahaha.

♥

2009-08-03T17:23:00.007+08:00

Then

None of the elventy-million questions that whirled through my brain like a meteor shower, blasting through my mind until they'd exhausted their energy and faded away.

The only thing I uttered was, ''I'm okay.''

Now

So I've taken an extra emotional week off but I'm backkkkk now. Doing greater than ever. Did I mention I gained like 2.5kgs the whole of last week? Like wtfudgecake man. Oh wells, I hit the gym yesterday and will keep up with the workouts so I guess I'll lose the fats and get some abs. One more thing that brightened up my day. I got a new phone. Finally. I guess mum's in a really good mood these days. No more menopause which means, good news for mehhh. Tralalalala.

Sometimes love comes around

And it knocks you down

Just get back up

When it knocks you down

2009-07-27T17:12:00.000+08:00

I'm an epic failure.

2009-07-27T16:26:00.000+08:00

Dead and gone.

2009-07-26T17:33:00.013+08:00

Birthday bash

Attented Sim's 16th birthday bash. Kim and I were her assistants. Crashed Jusco to pick up Pizzas and fried chickens and fries and nuggets and drinks. We carried all those stuff back to her crib. Left the things aside and decided to watch Stay Alive which I have watched a zillion times. I wasn't really paying much of attention. L decided to come over for an hour. Time passed like shit. We continued watching after he left.

After everyone came, we changed and went down to the pool for a swim. It was freesing cold like omgwtf. We had chicken fights and consumed a great amount of water. Hahaha.

Then, we went out to get drinks, of course we did. We had the most highest moments ever. Munz and I drank so much we did stupid and ridonkulous things. The guys mixed up all our drinks and my face was as red as a monkey's ass. I had a really bad headache. We stayed up till 3 anyways.

NOW you know what I'm talkin' about.