Question marks.

Sometimes, life has let me down in such bad ways that I think I dont need anyone around me because people come and go, and most of them leave scars before they go. Its 3.20am right now and I'm not asleep yet. I've so much on my mind that I dont even know which thought comes first because my head's in a mess. I dont think anyone could ever understand how I feel because everyone's too busy caring about themselves or maybe I'm just that worthless. I've always wondered why do people do all these shit to me, have I not been nice enough? Or have I not given enough? Because after 18 years of living, I'm definitely sure that I've been a good friend, not perfect, but just enough to make things right. But shit still happens. I've been through numerous dramas and fights and dissappointments and letdowns even till right now, I think I've come to a certain point where I can't stand it anymore.

I think I just wanna stop caring and be alone. I'm so tired of all these that I'd rather take all the blames and insinuations just so I can shut everyone up and leave me and my life alone.

I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way, literally. Eventhough it kills me inside to look at the people I love to be treating me like nothing, I'll just let it go. I dont think I wanna hold on to anything anymore.

Love,

Jojo