Sanity

The most destructive unjust deed to one's self revolves around three vices : lying, breaking a promise and betraying a trust.

Repentance is the way to go. The person should be forgiven if his/her sincerity is shown in the apology not forgetting, determination in wanting to get you back. Talking in the sense of a relationship, friendship and so on. Repetition on the other hand means digging your own damn grave. Let me project a situation here for better understanding. Can you imagine the person you love, cheats on you but at the same time tells you how much he/she loves you. In this case, its a she. Imagine the disappointment and betrayal that hits you in the face, its inexplicable. If you love this person so fucking much, would you bear to torment and watch this person hurt to bits and pieces? Its too bad that people who make mistakes, they dont really or should I say, they dont realise their mistakes. They'll put the blame on the others instead. I've been through all these and trust me, I know how it feels. The agony. The feeling of getting betrayed by the person you love the most only sums up to one word : excruciation.

'People change, as much as most of us despise it, people are influenced by others and their surrounding environment. Nobody likes it but its human nature.'

I need my sanity back. I need to learn how to live happily without you. I would not retaliate like how you always do and I will not take revenge on you just to 'get even'. Thats because I know how it feels. You're like a diabolical criminal in relationships. This thing called Love, is something that I will never be able to comprehend. For the time being, I'll wash away the current images of you in making my life a living hell and just remain the great memories that you once gave me, 8 months ago. Reminiscing the good memories once in a bloue moon would be good because hanging onto it solemnly would just be plain unhealthy. I would not say I loved the wrong person but I reckon it might be a mistake, to the both of us. This doesnt mean that I'm regretting it because I did not regret a single minute of the relationship I just hated the latter part of it. There was a possibility to the future that we both saw, but you single-handedly ruined it. Just because I dont tell you that I love you, it doesnt that I stopped loving you. Its because of the insecurities that you give me, the trust that you betrayed, hence, stop assuming. After all these mess that you've made, you cant blame me for loving you less because you vaunted your 'other relationship' in my face. Should I give my full affection to a person who left me, for another person? You toyed with my feelings and I just cant afford to give myself a reason to forgive you anymore because I've given you so many chances that I feel so worthless, so helpless, so.. pathetic. When will you ever start to realise all this? Perhaps, you never will. Right now I'm telling you, you won this relationship. I dont want to fight anymore, I'm moving on.

I did not stop loving you but I think I probably should. You're never gonna be the one that I knew, anymore.

Love,
J