Not sure why but this song always makes me think of you, probably because I always play it in your car and I love hearing you sing to it. And I am really missing you alot right now.
Right now, I'm still in disbelief, so many questions, so many griefs. Why do I always fail my my relationships? Why do I keep shutting people off ? I have my walls up fully guarded right now because just when I thought I finally found someone whom I can trust and rely on, that person walked away, eventually. After having struggled with a couple of terrible past relationships, I didnt think I would meet anyone that would make me feel like I can love again until I met you. Eventhough we didn't make it as far as I thought we would, it will always be something special, something significant and something that I will always remember. I just keep pushing people away with my insecurities, probably thats why you got sick of me so fast. I will never remember the first day we met and also the following days after that, we clicked right away and I've never felt so happy in such a long, long time. Time spent with you is always never enough and I always end up feeling shitty when I've to board the train to go home alone. I didnt think I'd ever date someone I got to know from some social app, people would say that its shallow but I think its something different. Initially, I felt really intimidated because you sound so wise and confident and all I really am is just, some girl, until I got comfortable with you and you took me out on a date, that is something that I'll always reminisce about. I know I may be difficult at times, or maybe most of the time thats why I dont deserve anybody. You have always told me that you will always be there no matter what and you will learn to cope with my issues, little steps by little steps, but I guess I really did push you beyond your limits. I really dont hope that I'm just one of the passerbys in your life, giving no significant memory to you, I really dont want to be that girl that you try hard to erase off from your memory because eventhough it was short, but to me what we had was different, it was genuine. If I could, I would definitely go back in time and change whatever that I could just so that we could stay the same, stay happy.
I don't know about you but if there was a second chance, I'm pretty sure we can work things out, you know what they say, you gotta crawl before you learn how to run.
After all, I just really want to say that I'm sorry, for having you to bear with someone like me and thank you, for staying as long as you could, for as much as you can take. I love you.
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